Deep Blue Sea… well almost!

I was drowning and I knew it. To tell you the truth, I never learned to swim and it showed in the way I splashed around in the water. I tried, desperately, to grab a hold on the broadish wooden plank bobbing around on the surface near me... but the damn thing seemed equally desperate to slip away from my outstretched hands. Finally, after countless tiring attempts I managed to grab it with both my hands and pulled my head out of the water. In those few seconds of respite, I managed to see a couple of triangular fins slicing through the waves about a hundred yards away. The plank wobbled, slipped from my grasp and I went under. It was then that the word formed itself in my head, “Sharks!”

I moved my arms and legs, kicking and fighting my way to stay afloat. Surfacing just beside the plank, I immediately latched onto it. The rain kept incessantly beating down on my face and it was hard to keep my eyes open for too long. Blinking away the water, I looked around me. For a moment I froze. The fins were nowhere to be seen. Then I turned around in the water, a full 180 degrees. “Where are they?” Panic enveloped me in a deadly embrace... although I must say I was not exactly in the mood for a romantic affair... much less with Miss Panic. And to make things worse, my legs were getting tired and it felt as if they had turned into lead oars.

Just then, a huge wave crashed into me. And there I was… floating in a world of blue and black where time slowed down… and the sound of the rain and the waves almost ceased to exist. It was so serene that for a moment I began to wonder why I was fighting it. That was when my lungs started convulsing and reality kicked in.

"This must be it. I’m not going to make it this time."

But my body had a mind of its own and kept moving. And that was when I surfaced… only to see 10 tons of bone-crushing death, packaged in a streamlined body, bearing down on my head with its jaws wide open. My eyes were still fixated on the razor sharp teeth when it jaws clamped around my head.

The world went dark….. And I heard static. Then a tinny voice that sounded distant and somehow strange said, “Alright that was the last one of the requirements. I guess we can wind up the call unless you have any questions, Jijo?”

“Huh!” was my first coherent thought. “Where did the shark go?”

That was when I opened my eyes and saw my project mates staring at me. The speaker phone on the desk blared “Where did the WHAT go?!”

Enlightenment… unfortunately, set in a tad too late. I was on a conference call! In what was a dismal attempt to cover my embarrassment, I managed to say “I meant …. umm... look at how fast the time goes! ….. I think the requirements are quite clear!”

For a moment there was an uncertain silence. Then the speakerphone blared again “Alright, hope you guys have a good night!” And then the dial tone.

“Phew!!” I thought to myself “That… was close!”

“Are you sure you got all of that?” My Project Leader asked me on the way back from the conference room. “Oh yeah sure… I got it all stored up here!” I said tapping at my head with one finger and putting on a toothy grin that would have put Julia Roberts to shame.

To tell you the truth this was not the first time. The last time I attended a meeting I got chased by a T. Rex who thought I was trying to steal the carcass of some prehistoric animal that it was feasting on. But that could be the meat of another story to be told some other day.